"I’d written this way backkk…before I got married so I don’t necessarily think the same way now…but yes…while going thru old journals I came across it again and thot I’d post it here (ummm…i did modify the language & a few expressions!)…I guess aftr this I should write how I feel about love now!!..."
LOVE… just a thot…
I think every relationship has a saturation point. Love is truly blind initially but once you get over that temporary blindness, reality can be startling…sometimes you can live with it…sometimes you feel alarmed. And through all of that, you just want to get back to that initial feeling …that heady feeling when you fall for someone…when every second away from the one you love seems like eternity! When you’re still discovering everything about this new wonderful person in your life and everything to do with them seems so fantastic. You do know why it seems so wonderful in the beginning?? It’s just ’coz we’re putting out best foot forward! It’s all about impressions and right then we’re at our best…sum of us trying our best to be Ms / Mr. Right!! (our version of it)!
Then you settle into a “comfortable” relationship. I think at that point of time some amount of expectations seep into the relationship. Yes, initially we’re too caught up in getting to know someone to really think of any long-term expectations. Right then, it’s just that very moment that counts…that moment spent with him/her. Expectations are truly, in my opinion, the beginning of the end of a relationship. OK don’t raise your eyebrows!! I know you’d say everyone has expectations and that it’s human nature…and yes, I agree it is. I guess I should rephrase what I said. I meant that unreal expectations are the beginning of the end of a relationship. I am not an authority on relationships of course but I’ve seen many examples around me … mine included, to arrive at this conclusion.
Unfortunately love leaves one incapable of realizing or seeing the consequences of a long-term relationship…when we start thinking of what next…we’re already in a commitment. Some of us feel we can change circumstances…some feel we can walk out if things don’t suit us…some of us wait for a miracle to happen… but more often than not, the best option is to just clean up the mess…and move on. (Easier said than done for a lot of us.)
What I’d luv is to be always “falling in luv!” and rather not “be in luv”…. Wish that were a possibility!! Would you sit here and believe in “forever”… what in the world is forever?? And who wants it anyway? Forever has way to many seconds…minutes…hours in it!!!
Okk… just another thought before I get distracted again…I just re read what I wrote…I guess a lot of ppl would be shaking their head saying “what an escapist…why only luk for pleasure and ignore pain?!” Welll…I got a whole lifetime ahead to experience pain…(yeah I know no escaping the inevitable) but right now pleasure is just fine by me! ;-)
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