Forever Young :-)

Sooo did u think I was gone forever or what??! *sigh* but it did feel like forever and more so when slowly and steadily ppl stopped checkin on me *sulk* but hell (!!) now I'm back...it was my lousy connection and nuthin else keepin me off bloggers...so till that works fine like it is now *touchwood*...I'm here to stay! ***Keshi now smilee okk :-) ***

In the past week I heard from and met some friends with whom I have in the past few years lost touch with. Short conversations and a time spent together...had me reminiscing back to all the crazy and wonderful years we spent together. I’ve always tried to move along with life and make the most of what life has to hand me but in the past week, I found myself longing to go back to days where I shared a lot more time with special friends and to a time when I seemed to be living more for myself!

Sounds selfish? I guess yes. Don’t get me wrong, marriage suits me fine and being a mother too but once in a while, (thank God it’s just once in a while!), I long to simply get away and be on my own. But you know motherhood lasts for a lifetime :-) ... uh huh marriage too if all is going well!! There’s just no walking away. I’ve been away from R and Vedant earlier this year when I took a trip alone to Mumbai but I can make a trip alone but not leave behind the “mommy” and “wife” in me :-)!

When I spent time with my friends that evening, I couldn’t help but wonder at how we’d come such a long way from those days...I was a mom, the other two out of a marriage each and moving along splendidly in life and yet another married and planning on a baby soon. Were we the same bunch of teens who’d sit in the same spot many years ago sipping our cold drinks and munching chips and talking about bfs and gfs, school, home work and planning parties, a trip to the movies. I remarked to a friend that if someone who had seen us back then, could see us now what would be on their minds? Hmmmmm! Well I know for one thing the person would be wondering how we all managed to gain all that weight...he he...

I also got a call from yet another friend from school. She’s now a successful dentist and the mother of a 5 yr old girl. While we talked, she said, “Ishi...back then we probably never imagined I would be a dentist and U would choose to stay home to be a full time mom!”...Ha ha...and I thought to myself, “Wellll....I never thought I’d be with the same guy for more than a couple of years at a stretch but look at me now?!”...!!! Such is life, you can plan and imagine a zillion things but u can never predict all the twists and turns and results!

The grass is always greener on the other side!! I have a friend who lived through a traumatic marriage and is now single again and doing well in her career and I guess with a lot of chances of meeting nice, eligible men! I admire the fact that she is her own person. Yet she doesn’t see it the way I do. She longs for love, for commitment and for a family of her own. All the things that according to her I have and take for granted!?...maybe I do take it all for granted but I know sometimes a marriage is not the only and ultimate thing for a woman. More so in present times! Finally society around us does understand and accept the “single and successful” woman and I don’t understand why wouldn’t a nice attractive 31 year old want to make the most of that?? Life begins at 30 right :-)?

The other day someone in my dance class said, “Oh u must’ve had Vedant when u were 18!”....that left me gaping! Lollz...And then I realized that I should take that as a compliment considering the fact Vedant is 5 yrs old now and I was 25 when he was born! ;-)

Ok another thing I had on my mind after meeting my friends is that I realized that both the girls were currently involved with younger men and the other friend, a guy, was married to an older woman. Of all only one relationship seemed to be a total mismatch and the said friend realized that but the other two seemed perfectly happy esp. the married guy. So now I seriously don’t understand why the “single again and dating a cute younger guy” friend would find it odd if I happened to find the grass greener on her side??! ..... huh...:D

Enough of all this...Rajiv sitting in Chicago with my brother, sis in law and cute lil niece would raise his eyebrows sky high reading this...he he...! *grin*

The music playing has been a long time favorite and I once had the lyrics put up in a post last year....it’s dedicated to my friends for all the years we’ve grown and learnt through...the song is “Sometimes it’s a bitch” by Stevie Nicks! And it’s also a song I would play back then when we would sit around...

“I’ve been through rainbows and castles of candy
I’ve cried a river of tears through the pain
I try to dance with what life has to hand me
My partners been pleasure … my partners been pain

There are days when I could fly like an eagle
And dark desperate hours nobody sees
My arms stretched triumphant on top of the mountain
My had in my hands … down on my knees

Sometimes it’s a bitch … sometimes it’s a breeze
Sometimes love’s blind … sometimes it sees
Sometimes it’s roses … and, sometimes it’s weeds
Sometimes it’s a bitch … sometimes it’s a breeze

I’ve reached in darkness and come out with treasure
I’ve lain down with love and woke up with lies
What’s it all worth only the heart can measure
It’s not what’s in the mirror … but what’s left inside

Sometimes it’s a bitch … sometimes it’s a breeze
Sometimes love’s blind … sometimes it sees
Sometimes it’s roses … and, sometimes it’s weeds
Sometimes it’s a bitch … sometimes it’s a breeze

You gotta take it as it comes … sometimes it don’t come easy

Sometimes the picture ain’t what it seems
You get what you want but it’s not what you need
Sometimes it’s a bitch … sometimes … it’s a breeze
Well it’s a breeze…it’s a breeze…it’s a breeze….”

Ps: updated the pic blog...click here!