The Mumbai Trip (Finally!!!)

Ever since I got back from Mumbai (my first trip ever there)…a lot of people ask me about my impression of Mumbai and I do end up talking a lot about it!! I guess the city does leave a lasting impression…ummm…good and bad both. Part of the reason why I didn’t write about my trip to Mumbai earlier was coz I was making up my mind about whether I liked the place or not! And to put down the negative aspects would mean another serious fight with Suchi (my best friend!)…she completely loves the city…!!!

My first impression of Mumbai is it’s crowded…so sooo sooooo crowded!! Everywhere u go there are people…people…and more people. It’s overwhelming to say the least. Yes I know the statistics…and I know people who live in the city love it despite the sheer number of people on the streets. The second thing that struck me is that unlike Delhi localities didn’t seem much defined…dunno when one ended and the other began…the whole city looks the same?! Ummm…though u can’t miss the difference between what one in Mumbai calls town and suburbs! And yeah new Bombay….hmmm!

Then there was the horrific experience of the local train! Less said the better…though I knowww when I talk about it, it amuses people around me a whole lot. I’d just quote my cousin on this “You asked for it!!” (Coz I kept cribbing ek baar toh jaana chahiye!)…. it was truly scary and I’m sure I’m never gonna get on one of them ever again! But I do feel mighty brave for attempting to be on one during peak hours! Esp. since I’m the type who never gets on to a bus in Delhi…well not since I finished college anyway!! And for all the people who told me that “trains are crowded in Mumbai but men are decent”…..now I know for a fact u never went on a train ever (for the women) and for the guys…u’d never know!!

There was this funny experience with ATM’s…every time we looked for a particular bank ATM we’d never seem to find it and when we did finally and got the desired amount out, we’d see ATM’s of the same bank in every damn place!!!!

I think my most fun moment was when I was cribbing away about not seeing a single movie personality…or for that matter a TV personality…ya ya…u may say u don’t give a shit but I know u expect to at least see them in a normal state somewhere in the city! Sooo Suchi, Rajiv and I were having ice creams at naturals…I forget the name of the place…hill road I think…and ohh yes i must say... another big positive the ice cream there is yummmm:-) (Though I’ve always maintained…mother dairy ice creams r the best!! But then I’ve always been very pro dilli!)… Anyway back to what I was saying. So I cribbed and r says ishi turn around…u got your wish…& I’m like no way who is it??? I had serious doubts okkk…coz I know that grin of his ok…evil to the core…lolzz….and I turn around and see … oh hell… u know that guy in govinda flicks…the really funny guy…long face…sparse but long hair! I didn’t even know the guy’s name….well till r told me right then…pappu kanghi…I’m like…oh good lord! All these days in Mumbai and I get to c is this guy!!! Suchi & r had the time of their lives looking at my expression… (No offense to Mr. Pappu Kanghi … I think his comic timing is gr8! But…I was quite obviously looking forward to seeing someone more happening!)

It’s fun being a tourist in Mumbai…but better still when u have people to stay with and to show u around…coz that’s the best way to experience the city. And most of the people I came across in Mumbai were friendly and helpful and people there aren’t inquisitive about you…they let u be. And now to what I liked best about Mumbai…the autos and the cabs! In Delhi I don’t take cabs unless I’m going to the station or to the airport! They’re way too expensive here for regular rides. And people know what autos here (in Delhi) are like. In Mumbai an autowala would never refuse to take u and I didn’t come across any autowala who argued about the fare or didn’t go without the meter. In fact if u suggested that, they looked at u like “what r u talking about?!” .which left me with the look “are u for real?”… And I remember the cab driver who took us to Worli from Andheri east…he really did show us around…all he had to know was we were from out of town. We kinda got to know his life history by the time we reached Worli!! And at the end of it all he says…arrey aap log kitna baat karte hai…mai raasta bhool jaata toh?!...lolzz!!

I enjoyed three car trips around Mumbai. The first one was courtesy a cousin of r’s who took us from our relative’s place in Panvel to Linking Road…aahh:-)…what a place… I luvvv shoes u know…sandals…shoes…u name it….and this place is definitely a shoe lovers paradise!! I luvvd linking road and I shopped there too…not on that very day but I was there later again with Suchi. Anyway next our cousin drove us to bandstand and of course we got a look at Shahrukh’s house…and Salman’s too. Had sum bhel…took sum pics. That was the day we moved to Suchi’s place after having spent two days at r’s relatives at Panvel.

My second car trip was the best…a friend took us around in his new car. I was excited all through this trip because we went to gateway, marine drive, Haji Ali, drove past Hanging Gardens, Mount Mary church and saw sum nice spots…markets…business centers…and yeah Amitabh’s houses! Oh yes Juhu beach too. Mumbai’s really very different from Delhi…Delhi’s all spread out. And there are parts of Delhi where traffic is kind of decent like around India gate and the embassy areas…and Delhi has green spaces…no high rises. So for someone like me, Mumbai was all cluttered….bustling with activity…people, people, people! And the traffic really got crazy at times! If you’re wondering if I’ve been to Chandni Chowk or Karol Bagh…I have like maybe twice!!

At Haji Ali, we had lunch at Café Noorani and the food was simply scrumpilicious :-)...followed by lip smacking Fruit Cream at the Haji Ali Fruit Center. I’d recommend this as a must have to people who love desserts and are not calorie conscious. That same day rather evening, I enjoyed sipping my tea as I watched the sun go down at marine drive.

My third car trip was with my cousins. We were all from out of Mumbai and were actually there for yet another cousin’s wedding. A day after the main ceremony, the whole lot of us hired a quails and did the same trip all over again. This time I got to play the guide! And oh yes lunch was at Café Noorani and fruit cream was a must!

What I long to go back and do in my next trip is drive down to Pune (heard a lot about the expressway) and also visit places like Lonavla, Panchgini, Mahabaleshwar, etc. I’ve been told the drive to Goa is fun too and if time is a constraint, then Alibaug is a nice place to be in. I was in Goa for around 4-5 days before I got to Mumbai. I guess next year I’ll go back around Christmas / New Years. I talked to a cousin yesterday in Mumbai and he said they don’t need woolens yet! And I’m sitting here with three layers of clothes and still shivering!

Before I end, I must mention that off late when cousins visit us here in Delhi, they insist that all they want is to go shopping or visit the malls! There are a lot of places to see here in Delhi and as a child I remember going to places like Red Fort (esp. the sound and light show), Qutub Minar, India Gate, Jantar Mantar, Lodi Gardens, Humayun’s tomb, Purana quila, and the Delhi zoo, etc…Shopping would be limited to CP, SN or Karol Bagh / Lajpat Nagar. Going around Mumbai during this trip and seeing places there, made me long to do a similar trip back home…in Delhi. Maybe I will sometime when I take my son around…skip the malls and the Cineplex’s…just like before….

There’s a lot more things I did in Mumbai…a lot of it pertaining to the wedding and therefore quite personal…which is why there’s no mention of it here. Phew…this is a rather long post. I wonder if anyone’s gonna read it all :-)… But hey I quite enjoyed writing. I haven’t written so much in a veryyyy long time!

Take Care & God Bless…

Ps: btw since I mentioned malls and my son. Welll every time we take him to play at the play pen at EDM … he yells all the way in the car “chalo chalo ‘mere mall’ mei chalo!!” And if we’re taking him to Metropolitan in Gurgaon (where my in laws are), he yells “chalo chalo siddhu ke mall chalo!!” (Sid is his cousin there!) …Lolzz… I wish malls sahi mei apne hotey!

And oh yess…this space has been lucky for me coz it helped me get in touch with a long lost friend…if u read my blog on my days in Assam, u’ll see I’ve mentioned him… Mohit. I just talked to him like an hour back…and I’m just really happy and excited about this!

And lastly, I saw Bluffmaster recently and I was quite excitedly pointing out places I’d been to in Mumbai…he he he…I did some thing like that last when I watched “while you were sleeping” (the one with Sandra bullock)…after a trip to Chicago!

Did you know?

Did you know that the three most difficult things to say are...

I love you, Sorry and help me

The people who say these are those that actually need them or really feel them, and they are the ones you really need to treasure, because they have said them :-)...

For the Bongs...Half Bongs & the Non Bongs!!

"I've been caught up with Christmas celebrations...that's my sole excuse for not updating! I was also writing a bit...which needless to say is incomplete. But today in my inbox was this forward from a friend:-)...it made me laugh aloud. And I'm hoping others will appreciate the humor in it...no offense to the bongs:-)...wellll, I'm half bong too u know!....Enjoyy:-)!! ... "

Dedicated to my parents (for obvious reasons...!)

One phrase every Bengali worth his sweater has grown up with is thanda lege jabey. It is the ultimate warning of impending doom, an unadulterated form of existentialist advice. Thanda lege jabey. Thou shalt 'catch the cold'.

'Catching the cold' comes easy to Bengalis. It's a skill that's acquired almost immediately after birth. Watch a Bengali baby and you would know. Wrapped inlayers of warm clothing even if the sun is boiling the mercury, the baby learns quickly that his chances of survival in a Bengali household depend on how tightly he can wrap himself in cotton, linen and wool. Bengalis have almost romanticised warm clothing, so much so that Bengali art has found eloquent __expression in a form of quilt-stitchwork called kantha.

I'm sure wool-shearers even in faraway Australia say a silent prayer to Bengalis before the shearing season (if there's any such season). I'm also sure the verythought of Bengalis sends a chill down the spine of many a sheep.

In winter, the quintessential Bengali's outfit puts the polar bear to shame.

Packaged in at least seven layers of cloth ing and the head snugly packed inside the queerest headgear, the monkey cap, he takes the chill head on. Easy lies the head that wears the monkey cap. With a pom-pom at the top, it's not just a fashion statement; it's a complete fashion paragraph.

I remember strolling down the Walk of Fame in Hollywood on a pleasant May evening. My eyes scanned the glittering stars on the asphalt - each an ode to a Hollywood heavyweight. Suddenly, my ears caught the unmistakable Doomsday warning - 'thanda lege jabey'. I stood transfixed. The Hollywood Walk of Fame isprobably the last place one would like to get caught 'catching the cold'. I turned around. There was this Bengali family braving the American chill. The young brat of the family was adamant that he didn't want any more clothing but mom wouldn't have any of it - "sweater porey nao, thanda lege jabey." I need not translate that. Mom won, and the family - sweaters et al - posed for a photograph.

For a race that is perpetually running scared of cold weather, Bengalis have a surprising affinity for hill stations.

Probably, warmth of heart is best preserved in shawls, pullovers and cardigans. In an age when you are judged by how cool or uncool you are,the warmth that the kakus, jethus and mashimas exude can melt icebergs. I wouldn't trade that warmth for any amount of cool. However, the monkeycap may look cool without the pom-pom.

Ps: i wish i knew who wrote this!

Note: Thanks to Mr. Anonymous who left this valuable info in comments...This piece is originally written by Mr. Subir Ghosh for The Hindustan Times. Have a look at this link http://www.sagnik.in/mybloggie/index.php where Mr Ghosh himself has left a comment.

A Dream within a Dream

A Dream within a Dream
By Edgar Allen Poe

Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow-
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet, if Hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it, therefore, the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of golden sand-
How few! Yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep- while I weep!
O God! Can I not grasp...
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! Can I not save...
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?

Let your child be a child

“I think I’ve got what shady (in his comment) calls "bloggers block"!! And I think I got it just coz he mentioned it!!! No…seriously it's more to do with lack of interest and my minds pre-occupied now. Then again this weekend will see the beginning of the countdown to Christmas…lots to do. Cakes to bake, party to plan…in-laws to visit! And then my son will be home for 2 weeks …winter vacations! But I wanted to put this in my blog … a speech by Azim H Premji on children. I agree with and I feel people could learn from, what he has to say.”

“Let your child be a child” - Azim H Premji

If you are a parent, you have many aspirations for your child that may include him or her becoming a doctor, an engineer, scientist or another kind of successful professional. I believe these aspirations are driven by your thinking about your child's future, and her centrality in your life.

Since good education is often the passport to a good future, I presume it leads you to getting your child admitted to a good school. Then you encourage your child to study hard and do well in school exams. To bolster this, you send him or her for tuition classes. This would have primed your child for board exams and entrance exams, thereby leading to admission into a good professional course. Doing well at college increases the probability of landing a good job. And a good job means the child's future is ensured.

I am neither a psychologist nor an educationist, and what I will now state may seem counter-intuitive. I think that these aspirations and actions might be doing more harm than good to your child. To understand why, we need to re-examine some of our fundamental assumptions.

In the first place, I have seen time and again that living: for some distant future goal also means you do not live in the present. The distant goal will always translate into an external measure of success, such as exams. And most exam-focused children start forgetting what it means to be a child, to be curious, mischievous, exploring, falling, getting up, relating, discovering, inventing, doing, playing.

Childhood is very precious; precious enough not be wasted by the artificial pressures of contrived competition, by too many hours of bookish study; and by school report cards that simplistically wrap up an entire human being in numbers.

The second assumption is that education is merely a ticket to socio-economic success. Given the state of our country; this reality cannot be ignored. But restricting education to only this aspect is, I think, a very limiting notion of the aim of good education. The primary purpose of a school is to guide the child in her discovery of herself and her world, and to identify and nurture the child's talents. Just as every seed contains the future tree, each child is born with infinite potential. Imagine a school which sees children as seeds to be nurtured - here the teacher is a gardener who helps to bring out the potential already present in the child.

This is very different from the current view which sees the child as clay to be molded -where the teacher and parents are potters deciding what shape the clay should take. There is an old (and forgotten) Chinese saying: "Give a seed to a potter, and you will get a bonsai".

Even in a commercial organization, to make profits we do not have to chase profits. Rather, we need to build an institution that gives every employee an opportunity to do meaningful and fulfilling work.

Create an organization driven by values of innovation, integrity, customer centricity and care. And as you practice these values everyday and moment, you will see that the profits take care of themselves.

Similarly; dear parent, this is my request to you. Do not give up your child's present to secure his or her future. Give your child the freedom to truly explore life with abandon. In doing this, you will see your child flower into a creative and sensitive human being. And when this happens, everything else -money; social success, security -I will fall into place automatically.

Let your child be a child.

Memories :-) ...

Its 10:30...I've been waiting for the sun to shine bright outside! It's so cold...so...so..colddd! Well the sun's there but weak...dull.... a lot like what I'm feeling right now. I took to writing because of all these long hours I get to myself. I told a friend I was talking to last night that although I start writing with a lot of enthusiasm, I find my interest dwindles somewhere along the way. More often than not it's because I end up thinking many things...a whole lot of thoughts keep coming and going in my head....I kind of lose focus. Anyway, in my last post I'd asked that question "Is blogging addictive?"...and I know the answer is apparent in the way I just put in post after post and in the hours I spend reading blogs.

Okk… can’t keep waiting for the sun to shine. Have to go out. Putting in a post and rushing off. This one was written sometime back and in a much better frame of mind!

“This blog is dedicated to old friends…from my days in Assam :-)”

My days in the Railway colony there were undoubtedly my best days…I have very vivid and happy memories of my time spent there. Be it home… school… the club… parties… picnics… those long walks to the hills behind the colony… all of these I remember…and when I do, I can’t help but smile and think of the people who made my days there so special and fun.

Roopa, my best friend….and the rest of the gang (too many names to mention here…but I miss u all sooo much). The sad thing about rly life was that there was always sum one moving away…and the best thing was there was always sum one moving in!! And the place was always happening… fun filled activities… social dos, etc. And ironically, the best parties were the farewell parties!!! I spent a total of 10 years in Assam … in parts coz I spent nursery to class 2 first and then in between we moved to Delhi for 4 years (hmmm…that’s another phase which was interesting…Maybe sum time I could write about that and time spent at DPS)….anyway, then dad got a posting back in Assam. I’m talking about this part…from class 7 to 10th.

I remember how I luvvd to bake chocolate cakes and all my friends would come over and we’d share cake and spend our time playing games, listening to music (crazy about sum bands which have long disappeared!!)…talking….and we never seemed to tire of doing the same things over & over again! I remember secret crushes….and heartbreaks…and I rem long fone calls…lonely walks…crazy bicycle rides…

Okk…there was this one time when we’d gone for a walk to the hills and it started pouring heavily. We’d split up into two groups. The group I was in took shelter in a small temple (more a shack with a local deity) and the priest there was kind enough to offer us sum tea. We sat there worried about the others coz for what seemed like ages there was no sign of them! When they did get back…they were all drenched and in a total mess :-) …but poor Smita had the worst of it…her foot had leaches…all over…eekks!! I rem all of us sitting there rubbing salt to get those leaches off her foot. Poor Mohit (Smita’s brother and one of my closest frenz) was all worked up!!....hmmm…those were lil adventures we had… I miss all this living in Delhi…no hills to walk to beyond my colony here! ...no lonely paths :-(

And roopsie if u ever read this blog, do u rem the time the guys formed that stupid “doodle club”??? Omg… it was like a NO GIRLS allowed club!! Duhhh!! And what did these guys do? They spent long boring afternoons organizing quizzes??!! I rem just to get back at them we girls (grossly outnumbered) formed a group of our own! We called ourselves the GRIN gang…lolzz… (G for Gayatri…R for Roopa….I for Ishita….N for Nilanjana) and nooo…we had no purpose for making this group. All we wanted was to just irritate these guys…every time any of these guys passed by, we’d be grinning like hell….!!! I was a step ahead, I’d just gate crash their so called quizzes (owing to my excellent social skills with all the mom’s) and sit there ploink in their midst…digging into all the goodies their mom’s supplied for their get together! ...lolzz…

Or the time we kids were asked to help renovate the club library…that was a brilliant way to keep us occupied coz we ended up reading like hell…and it was fun…hmmm…sum cute romances blossoming around that time… hmmmm… rly romances…sigh!:-)

Yes...I do miss those days. I guess most of us have some nice growing up stories. I could go on & on … describing endless such stories… those were fun days. I skipped the school stories…that would take up too much space here! And now I must get back to the kid I got growing up here :-) … been a nice trip back in time…

So tell me...?

Two things have been on my mind lately. It’s been more than a year since I got into the world of chatting and needless to say, it does get u hooked. Though over time, the fascination does wane. I would chat using a pseudonym…like I think many of us do. What I found very interesting is when I signed onto a popular friend’s network and just for some fun I had signed in through both my regular, true id and through my alias. In the former I put in all facts and in the other of course I was considerably vague in revealing any definite identity. Most of the requests I get are for the faceless id…so I asked a question to a good friend of mine as to why people were keener on getting to know my pseudonym and not someone real! And let me just state here that I kept some things honest and ditto for both…I mean the fact that I’m married with a kid blah blah blah! And the answer he gave me was quite interesting…he said that in the true id I came across as a finite person…people could see this is what she’s about and she’s real…as real as it can get. Whereas the pseudonym could be anybody…she’s infinite…there’s an element of mystery…which gets people curious. And people would see her using their own imagination and that could be …. So vivid! Hmmmm!!... Well, that was the first thing on my mind and I think he helped me understand it.

The second one is a question someone else asked me a couple of days back. He asked me is Blogging addictive??? And this question I’d prefer to throw open to people who care to visit my space…esp. the serious and regular bloggers there. I just got here…u guys have been at this for a longer time and it would be interesting to watch the answers to this one….

Summer Stories...

Weekends are always so hectic. Yesterday I'd gone to my son's annual day. It was fun and it just makes me feel so proud watching him perform on stage :-). Today's going to be a quiet day...intentionally so!....and since rajiv's taken our son out to play outside, I have time here to write a bit. hmmm...I'd actually written a few days back but never got around to posting it here. But before I do that I must make a mention here of some of the new blogs I had a look at. The reason why I'm doing that is because...some people do write so very well and pick up some very interesting topics and subjects to write and raise a debate about. And I can't help but wonder why I can't do the same?! But each one to his/her own.... this space is about writing what I feel and that comes from within me... and has everything to do with my life, my personal experiences and what affects me...good and bad. And I certainly don't want to apologise for any boring dull post!:-)....but I felt I need to do this little bit of explaining ( to anyone whoe cares to spend time here and actually read what i write!!) before I move on....

Dated: 9th Dec' 2005

Summer Stories....

Today morning I was thinking of nani (my maternal grandma)…and of exciting summer hols spent at my grandma’s plc…a part of me longed to be a child again…to be back there…young, carefree…not a care in the world!!! What I remember most is being with all my cousins and visiting mom’s ancestral home…which was some distance from the town where nani now lives. I luvvd the car ride…and the house (they called it the palace but to me it looks more like a one of those filmi havelis….huge, sprawling and parts of it falling into ruins). I remember us cousins chatting through the night…telling wild scary ghost stories…being frightened of every lil’ sound...and never venturing around the place alone!!

There was one story which I particularly remember and always share it when I’m with friends…

Way back when my mom was a child and her 4th sister (I think 4th…they’re seven in total!)…was born, my nani decided to get a new nanny to take care of the baby. Nani hadn’t decided where this new nanny would be sleeping on the first night, at this very same haveli, so she put her up in one of the spare rooms telling her that this arrangement was for a night only. The woman made her bed on the floor and fell asleep. Next morning when nani went to check on her, she found the nanny scared out of her wits and insisting she wanted to go back home right away. Nani kept asking her to at least tell…what had happened. And she came up with the following narration…..she said she woke up late night and finding it cold on the floor she decided to sleep on the bed in the room. No sooner had she settled into a comfortable sleep…she was woken with a rude nudge. On opening her eyes, she saw a very pretty woman all decked up in jewels staring angrily at her and demanding that she get out of her bed…and her room!! Frightened the nanny got of the bed and kept saying sorry…she fell at this lady’s feet. When she looked up, the pretty lady had vanished….gone…like she was never there! …..

My nani didn’t really believe her story…thought one of the girls might have played a prank on her, so she asked her to describe this pretty woman. Hearing the details….she was very taken aback because…she got a strange feeling that she knew who this nanny was talking about….the description matched a member of the family. So she took this lady to her room and showed her a photograph. Seeing the photo, the nanny said…yess…this is that woman….who is she? And my nani looked at her in total disbelief saying, “This is my husband’s great great grandmother….she died years ago! She was very beautiful and very vain…proud of her looks and her room was filled with mirrors coz she loved to see herself. How could you have possibly seen her?” The nanny, of course, left the job after this…

And yes, the room still exists, in that very same haveli and nope; I’ve never been in it ;-)!!

Remembering friends & people who care....

How often have u been so caught up with ur life tht u've missed many a chance to talk to or meet up with an old friend?? Here's a poem i read tdy which made me think of all my friends and yes pick up d fone & make that call i shud've made long before....

Around the corner I have a friend,
In this great city that has no end,
Yet the days go by and weeks rush on,
And before I know it, a year is gone.
And I never see my old friends face,
For life is a swift and terrible race,
He knows I like him just as well,
As in the days when I rang his bell
And he rang mine if, we were younger then,
And now we are busy, tired men.
Tired of playing a foolish game,
Tired of trying to make a name
"Tomorrow" I say! "I will call on Jim"
"Just to show that I'm thinking of him"
But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes,
And distance between us grows and grows
Around the corner! Yet miles away,
"Here's a telegram sir, Jim died today"
And that's what we get and deserve in the end.
Around the corner, a vanished friend
Remember to always say what you mean.
If you love or like someone, tell them.
Don't be afraid to express yourself
Reach out and tell someone what they mean to you.
Because when you decide that it
Is the right time it might be too late.
Seize the day.
Never have regrets.
And most importantly,
Stay close to your friends and family,
For they have helped make you
The person that you are today

Today's quote :-)

Can miles truly separate you from friends.... If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there?

Tantrums!!

helpppp!.......no way can i write in the midst of a tantrum throwing 4 yr old!....refusing to do his home work! and can anyone tell me where they pick up these .... these threats!! omg...lollll...."mai tumka bachha kabhi nahi banoonga"...huh!! oh d poor kid...trying so hard to cry....."tum kitni bashman mummy ho!!" :-)).... hell, i feel heartless watchin dis! But... hmmm... yes we mummy's have these days too. And why does my mom's voice keep echoing in my head .."wait till u have one of ur own!" ... welllll, i do have one of my own mom:-) and if it makes u feel any better... he's 3 of us put together (3 wld be both my bro's and urs truly)....

and i dunno y they say let them cry thru it....and let them get thru dis tantrum throwin bout... my hearts melting already. And i don want to hold myself back!

ohh...pin drop silence!!.... nowww i have to chk on him...

backkk... kids!! would u believe it?? he's got himself a cheese cube out of the refrigerator and merrily chompin it!!! no tears...nuthin! hmmmm... and here i wz fretting away!! ... so much fr gettin a new fridge wid a lock (he finds d key no matter whre i hide it!)... well, now that he's calm (or so i wish!)... m gonna try gettin him to tackle his HW!! .... and i have a thing or two to say abt school work but lets save that for a non tantrum day:-)...

another afternoon....drifts by...

did i say i'd be writing every afternoon?!...tdy i spent sumtime goin thru blogs...nope not new ones...just d one's i'd been thru before. curiosity again...jst wanted to c what's new etc etc etc. a couple of them i can't resist going back to and re-reading. it's just fun to read abt ppl...their lives . i mean i cld spend the same time reading a book or watchin tv or....well...writing in my own space! But no...it's others who fascinate me. infact now i find my own blog sooooooooo boring...ahaa..no one's disagreeing i can c! lol....who cares:-)...still my space and m still here...writing...for myself! sumtimes i leave comments in the blogs i visit....but i luv to be the silent observer. one such blog i got to by sheer chance...hmmm..u can call me self-centered but i did a search on my name...and got to this guy's site where he makes fun of the name "ishita"...(he has a fren by that name btw! )loll...he had me laughing away...ohh incidently, i got to another blog thru his...and that i've mentioned in an earlier post (the one abt FOB's). y do i like reading what dis guy has to say? well...coz besides d fact that he can write well...i luvv his cynicism and the way he rips apart his so called frenz in his blog. And why does that amuse me? wellllll...have u seen me say one nasty thing about anyone ever?! that's just me...even wen i get reallyyy mad at sumone..i dunno y i care to spare a thot abt what he/she may feel if i said what's on my mind at that point of time!! hmmm! anyway coming back to...to what? there's nuthin specific m writing abt today...i'll be back again tmrw..i seriously do want to write about the cab driver who tuk us around during our trip...he's another guy i will remember from this trip... that's it for now:-)

Karen & Gerry

This is the first afternoon I have to myself after a long long time. I've abandoned the whole idea of writing a travelogue...I could change my mind though. This is such an annoying thing about me...I keep changing my mind way too often. But I could share sum nice incidents..memories of the trip. The places I visited were fascinating yes..but along with that I have fond memories of people I met while traveling...people I met while on the train, at the resort we stayed in...the local people. hmmm...and not to forget my cousins who I met up with after a long time:-).

The most interesting of all the people I met was an american couple who were on a world tour post retirement...Karen and Gerry. Karen was celebrating her birthday the night we met at the resort's restaurant. I'd spotted them earlier dancing while the band played out in the lawns of the resort and later they sat at the table next to us during dinner. Gerry had planned a lovely surprise for her...buying her a piece of jewellery she had seen n luvvd during their stay in Jaipur and then having the resort arrange for a birthday cake...it was a delight to watch them. It had me smiling and yes the luv they had for each other was evident to all....we got talking when they shared the cake with us and with everyone at the restaurant. I sat listening fascinated by the stories of all the places they'd visited and all the friends they made all over the world. I didn't realize how time just passed while talking and getting to know them...in the following days we shared b'fast couple of times with them...we gave karen a gift too which she liked a lot (a beaded picture frame to put pictures of her grandchildren) and they very kindly invited us to visit and stay with them in their home. we spent a lovely morning together at the beach. That's where I got my tatoo (noo not a permanent one!) and Gerry enjoyed a massage by the local masseur...we watched little street kids do sum amazing stunts. We had our last b'fast at the resort with them and I'm glad we met them...they made my trip all the more memorable and just getting to know them and about their lives was a learning experience for me...I honestly want to age like them...doing the things I like most and sharing it with the person I luv. This is why I remember them most of all the people I met. And I hope where ever they are now....ummm...Australia if I remember right...after Thailand…I wish them luck and happiness always.

Hmmm…I’m hoping that bit by bit I will write more about this last vacation coz I do have a lot of afternoons to myself in the following weeks:-) . For now I have to rushhh…

Easy vs. Difficult

Haven’t had the time or inclination to write anything…but at the same time I hate neglecting my space! Welll…this is yet another forward I got…I only put in things I realllyyyy like…or else I’d just trash it!

EASY vs. Difficult (hmmm…think about it!)

Easy is to judge the mistakes of others . . . Difficult is to recognize our own mistakes
Easy is to talk without thinking . . . Difficult is to refrain the tongue
Easy is to hurt someone who loves us . . . Difficult is to heal the wound
Easy is to forgive others . . . Difficult is to ask for forgiveness
Easy is to set rules . . . Difficult is to follow them
Easy is to dream every night . . . Difficult is to fight for a dream
Easy is to show victory . . . Difficult is to assume defeat with dignity
Easy is to admire a full moon . . . Difficult to see the other side
Easy is to stumble with a stone . . . Difficult is to get up
Easy is to enjoy life every day . . . Difficult to give its real value
Easy is to promise something to someone . . . Difficult is to fulfill that promise
Easy is to say we love . . . Difficult is to show it every day
Easy is to criticize others . . . Difficult is to improve oneself
Easy is to make mistakes . . . Difficult is to learn from them
Easy is to weep for a lost love . . . Difficult is to take care of it so not to lose it
Easy is to think about improving . . . Difficult is to stop thinking it and put it into action
Easy is to think bad of others . . . Difficult is to give them the benefit of the doubt
Easy is to receive . . . Difficult is to give
Easy is keep the friendship with words . . . Difficult is to keep it with meanings
Easy to read this . . . Difficult to follow

Another Forward...

Can't believe i'm back home...what a vacation this has been!!But no...i'm not going to write about it here and now! anyway i know for a fact that i'm back in Delhi coz only in Delhi can weddings be so loud & fun!...there's one happening right outside in the lawn in front as i'm writing this!!:-)..

Didn't think i'd miss Delhi! wellll...more about all that later...i had tons of mail to got thru & yep:-) a lot of forwards too! One caught my eye...so m posting it here..just sumthin to think abt ...

WENT TO A PARTY

MUM I went to a party
And remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mum
So I had a sprite instead.
I felt proud of myself,
The way you said I would,
That I didn't drink and drive,
Though some friends said I should.
I made a healthy choice,
And your advice to me was right,
The party finally ended,
And the kids drove out of sight.
I got into my car,
Sure to get home in one piece,
I never knew what was coming,
MumSomething I expected least.
Now I'm lying on the pavement,
And I hear the policeman say,
The kid that caused this wreck was drunk,
Mum, his voice seems far away.
My own blood's all around me,
As I try hard not to cry.
I can hear the paramedic say,
This girl is going to die.
I'm sure the guy had no idea,
While he was flying high,
Because he chose to drink and drive,
Now I would have to die.
So why do people do it,
Mumknowing that it ruins lives?
And now the pain is cutting me,
Like a hundred stabbing knives.
Tell sister not to be afraid, Mum
Tell daddy to be brave,
And when I go to heaven,
Put "Daddy's Girl" on my grave.
Someone should have taught him,
That it's wrong to drink and drive.
Maybe if his parents had,
I'd still be alive.
My breath is getting shorter,
MumI'm getting really scared.
These are my final moments,
And I'm so unprepared.
I wish that you could hold me Mum,
As I lie here and die.
I wish that I could say, "I love you, Mum!"
So I love you and good-bye.

state of mind...

when i think of u...
i get lost...
past present future...
evrythin loses meaning...
u do know..don't u?
for this state of mind...
there's no cure...

smiles...laughter...tears...
of joy..of sadness...
so many emotions...
flood my mind...
yet i go thru each day...
i tell u..
i'm going thru the motions....
daily grind...

you want me to be otherwise...
change things arnd me...
i wish i cld...or do i?
sumtimes i'm confused...
sumtimes i think u're right...
sumtimes...i think...
who am i? what am i?

I'm searching for answers...
i can't find them...
the questions haunt me....
when u lose patience...
u tell me...
live with them!...

i am living with them!!!

when i think of u...
i get lost...
past present future...
evrythin loses meaning...
for this state of mind...
why is there no cure...


"my last post for this month!!..pheww..i honestly needdd this vacation!...:-)"

I'll be back....

I have reasons to smile:-)...thanks ppl for visiting this space and leaving ur comments! I won't be arnd for sumtime..so no new posts for quite a while..but m just grinning away...aftr seein the comments...they do give u a high..don't they?!...lol..tk care ppl & God bless..."I'll be back"!!! :-) Lukin forward to my long cherished vacation....

Quote of the day

"True love doesn't come to you it has to be inside you. "
- Julia Roberts. American Actress, b.1967

Thots from the past....

"I’d written this way backkk…before I got married so I don’t necessarily think the same way now…but yes…while going thru old journals I came across it again and thot I’d post it here (ummm…i did modify the language & a few expressions!)…I guess aftr this I should write how I feel about love now!!..."

LOVE… just a thot…

I think every relationship has a saturation point. Love is truly blind initially but once you get over that temporary blindness, reality can be startling…sometimes you can live with it…sometimes you feel alarmed. And through all of that, you just want to get back to that initial feeling …that heady feeling when you fall for someone…when every second away from the one you love seems like eternity! When you’re still discovering everything about this new wonderful person in your life and everything to do with them seems so fantastic. You do know why it seems so wonderful in the beginning?? It’s just ’coz we’re putting out best foot forward! It’s all about impressions and right then we’re at our best…sum of us trying our best to be Ms / Mr. Right!! (our version of it)!

Then you settle into a “comfortable” relationship. I think at that point of time some amount of expectations seep into the relationship. Yes, initially we’re too caught up in getting to know someone to really think of any long-term expectations. Right then, it’s just that very moment that counts…that moment spent with him/her. Expectations are truly, in my opinion, the beginning of the end of a relationship. OK don’t raise your eyebrows!! I know you’d say everyone has expectations and that it’s human nature…and yes, I agree it is. I guess I should rephrase what I said. I meant that unreal expectations are the beginning of the end of a relationship. I am not an authority on relationships of course but I’ve seen many examples around me … mine included, to arrive at this conclusion.

Unfortunately love leaves one incapable of realizing or seeing the consequences of a long-term relationship…when we start thinking of what next…we’re already in a commitment. Some of us feel we can change circumstances…some feel we can walk out if things don’t suit us…some of us wait for a miracle to happen… but more often than not, the best option is to just clean up the mess…and move on. (Easier said than done for a lot of us.)

What I’d luv is to be always “falling in luv!” and rather not “be in luv”…. Wish that were a possibility!! Would you sit here and believe in “forever”… what in the world is forever?? And who wants it anyway? Forever has way to many seconds…minutes…hours in it!!!

Okk… just another thought before I get distracted again…I just re read what I wrote…I guess a lot of ppl would be shaking their head saying “what an escapist…why only luk for pleasure and ignore pain?!” Welll…I got a whole lifetime ahead to experience pain…(yeah I know no escaping the inevitable) but right now pleasure is just fine by me! ;-)

Packing!!!

Packing!!
I never get it right...
Try as i might…
Sumthin always gets left out
It’s sooo exasperating...
I wanna shout!!

Loll...so much for rhyming:-)

But believe me it's true...
I hate packing...
Where to start…got no clue...
I keep packing again n again...
U watch me...
U just tell me...
Forget it...
I would gladly...
But i don’t see u helping me!!!

Oh...U’re laughing??
Wanna know sumthin?
Last time u packed
And we reached our destination...
Wasn’t me but u…
Tearing ur hair out in frustration...
Where’s my this...where's my that??!
Ha ha ha.... u’re just as bad!

So get up!!
Get here!
We’re gonna do this together...
And do it well...
So we don't end up...
Blaming each other:-)

About relationships

Read these lines while surfing thru sites...we say this to ourselves many times "we hurt those we luv the most"...but i luvdd the way it's been put across in these lines...

There's one sad truth in life I've found

While journeying east and west

The only folks we really wound

Are those we love the best

We flatter those we scarcely know

We please the fleeting guest

And deal full many a thoughtless blow

To those who love us best

~Ella Wheeler Wilcox

thots...

it's d 25th of Oct...haven't been writing anything of late...sort of wierd days since puja got over. well for starters everytime i spend time wid sumone...we pretty much end up agruing!!..hmmmm...and.. hang on!!..i lost track of what i intended to write abt (happens...way too often wid me)... It's these Diwali patakhaas distracting me....don't they just get louder each year? can't be my hearing improving wid age!! whoaa..that was loud..! as if to prove my point:-)...sooo coming back to what i wanted to write abt...i've had lots of time in hand so what did i do? besides packing for my trip ... and running aftr my son (4yr olds can be such brats...so much for terrible two's...a fren said "didn't they know this cld last till 22!!"...i guess i've just accepted my fate!)...what i've been doing is going thru blogs...here on this site...on msn...and several other plcs! phew what do i say??!! It's like opening doors and just whammm...u walk into sumone's life. It's fascinating...like one guy who wrote abt his experience abt bein a FOB in the states...another ridiculing all his frenz...hmmm! and this gurl who dedictated her space to her BF .... and Eminem!...and another one where this girl wrote abt her ex...in a series of poems...which i totally fell in luv wid:-)..she sure did vent out feelings. hmmmm...then another blog mentioned by a fren...and that was interesting coz sumone spoke of 1st luv and raised a ques abt luv vs. frenship.....i read travelogues..movie reviews...celebrity blogs..phewww!! ohh..forgot to mention a good frenz blog...coz wen i don get to talk to him much...i nvr lose track of what's goin on wid him:-)...his blog keeps me updated. All these blogs made me sit back and wonder...why do I limit myself to just posting poems I write when i have nuthin btr to do!!!...lol...maybe my upcoming trip will make me do sumthin i've wanted to do for a longgg time...write a travelogue!! hmm...time to go...we got macaroni bake fr dinner:-)...no wonder dinners early tonite!! .....and most important of all..last but not the least...a spl. prayer for sumone special...get well soon...

Friends to Lovers?

You know that feeling?
When a single glance…
Can send your heart racing?
When you hear the sound of...
Your own heartbeats in your head?
That’s luv baby...
My best friend said....
Luv?
Is it really luv?
Have we really progressed…
From friends to lovers?
All these years how...when...?
But why am I seeking answers!
You...just you and me...
It’s as clear as it can be...
We’re perfect...and meant to be...
But...
Is it just me?
I wonder…
Do u feel the same way too?
If I said I love you....
Would u say the same too?
I hope...i agonize...
I despair...
Nights and days pass…
Do u even see…
Do u even care?

My Baby

He’s so naughty!
Ohh...he’s run away again!
That constant refrain…

Yet I luv to watch that mischievous grin
To hear the sound of his feet racin’…
To hear him yell “mummmyyyyy!”
To cuddle him…to sing to him…
When he’s tired and sleepy…

He infuriates me at times…
Turns me into a screaming shrew!
No No No…baby No…I yell…

Yet I luv to watch him recite a poem
To rush to his bus stop and get him home…
To buy him that puzzle he luvs to make…
To celebrate his birthdays with the biggest of cake…

What joy he brings…what tears he causes…
To all at home…the center of attraction…
Making us laugh…making us angry…
He’s such a lovable distraction…
I luv to watch him grow…
I luv him so much…u know….

If Only

If only my life was a dream…
Then I would always be with you…
If only my life was a dream…
I would never be alone…never be blue…

If only my life was a dream…
Your smile would be only for me…
If only my life was a dream…
Our love would be for all to see…

If only my life was a dream…
I wouldn’t stay restless through the nite…
If only my life was a dream…
To all our love would seem so right…

If only my life was a dream…
Unreal as it may seem…
I’ll want to live it forever…
And wake up from it…never…

At the bus stop

I see you…
On my way…
To the bus stop
Everyday…

I don’t know what it is…
The look on your face…
Like you’re thinking…
Or lost looking into space…

I don’t mean to pry…
But you always catch my eye…
There’s sadness there…
In your eye…

Makes me wonder…
Who … what hurt her?
These thoughts cross my
mind…
While you make small talk…
With another child’s mother…

Your eyes meet mine…
You give me a smile…
Was it my imagination?
Or did I see a teardrop shine?

Reminisce

I smile…
Reminiscing...
The way your fingers
Brushed my lips…
The way your lips followed...
Tracing your luv...

I laugh...
Reminiscing…
The things u did to make me laugh...
The stand up routine...
The sound of your laughter...

I cry...
Reminiscing...
The way u looked at her...
Your hands...holding
her...
The promises broken...

I hurt...
Reminiscing...
The days...the nights...
We shared...
Never to hear u...
Never to feel
u...

I hope...
I pray...
I will survive...
Will survive a
life …
Without u...

You know what I mean?

I hate it when people complain…
Never happy about anything…
Life is always a pain…

They have that look
on their face…
It’s constant I tell you…
Not just a phase…

Mornings are bad…
Evenings sad…
Makes you wonder…
Really…
Doesn’t it
drive them mad?

I love life…
Through good times and bad…
Frowns don’t last…u know…
When I think of the happiness…
I’ve had…

Every cloud has a silver lining…
Every fall should make u stronger…
Take a look around you…
People care about you…
You will realize…u can’t be sad much
longer.

Think of it this way…
I care that’s why I’m telling u this…
You have to listen to what I say…
Just want to see you happy each day…

Take each day as it comes…
If today makes you happy…
You’ll look forward to tomorrow…
I know I am right…just look…
Wait…watch and see!!

If...

“I got this as a forward remembering 9/11…loved it which is why I have it here in my blog ”

If I knew it would be the last time
That I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
And pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time
That I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
And call you back for one more.

If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would videotape each action and word,
So I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute
To stop and say, "I love you,"
Instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.

If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
Well I'm sure you'll have so many more,
So I can let just this one slip away.

For surely there's always tomorrow
To make up for an oversight,
And we always get a second chance
To make everything just right

There will always be another day
To say, "I love you,"
And certainly there's another chance
To say our "Anything I can do?"

But just in case I might be wrong,
And today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you
And I hope we never forget.

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
Young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
You get to hold your loved one tight.

So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
Why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
You’ll surely regret the day,

That you didn't take that extra time
For a smile, a hug, or a kiss
And you were too busy to grant someone,
What turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today,
And whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
And that you'll always hold them dear

Take time to say, "I'm sorry,"
"Please forgive me," "Thank you," or "It's okay."
And if tomorrow never comes,
You’ll have no regrets about today.

The Rains

Winter or spring?
Neither...
It’s the rains that…
Make my heart sing...

You wove dreams for me...
Of rains...and Luvvv...
Passionate...wild...
You lit a fire within me...

Rains...and you...
Will always be synonymous...
But our luv so true...
Will remain anonymous...

Forever true...
Forever you...

Winter or spring?
Neither...
It’s the rains that…
Make my heart sing...

Suchi :-)

She brings a smile to my face…
Her name means just that…
Pure smile…
She listens…She Cries…
She even scolds me…
Once in a while…

I miss her now that…
She is away…
For her happiness…
Her joy…Her well-being…
Night and Day
I pray…

I long to be with her…
To sit through hours…
Of long conversations…
With her…
I wait…I watch…
As time flies by…
I know…
I have to bide my time
With patience…

Suchi…(U know)…
U’re not just my best friend…
U are my inspiration
My most precious…
Possession…

Quote of the day

What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others.
- Pericles. Athenian statesman and politician, 495-425ac

"Mamma"

This is for my son :-)

“One look from papa...
One spanking from granma…
One scolding from granpa...
And that familiar wail...
Mamma...

Toys strewn all over...
Running helter skelter...
For cover...
When he's caught...
His lil’ face with fear fraught...
And he yells again...
Mamma...

Strokes of his crayons…
Writing A B C…
Smile on his face…
And a Star…
In his copy…
And he shouts in glee
Mamma…

Cute...sweet...adorable...
Precious...huggable...kissable...
Giggles...laughter...
Stories of here ever after...
He sighs...
Sleep in his eyes...
I hear it…again…
As he whispers softly…
Mamma…”

Loneliness

This is one of my personal favourites...

The sound of birds chirping…
The gentle breeze blowing…
That longing…
For you…

Loneliness is a curse…
People say…
But in seclusion…
My heart is kinder to u…
I forget your faults…
I forget the pain…
Memories that flood my mind…
Are happy and true…

The car alarm goes off…
The sound of footsteps…
I come back to reality…
I am not alone…
The pain…
The hurt…
It’s all back in me…

Reality hurts…
Loneliness is my shelter…
Do I want to be back in the real world?
No…I think never…

A walk down that old familiar lane

“This is one of the first one's I attempted to write...which is why I decided on it as the title for my blog...”

A walk down that old familiar lane...
Revisiting pain...
Never thought I’d live through it again...

Left with empty words...happy and aching memories
Time seems to stand still...
No one left to luv...to please...

Remembering lines from a song...
We once danced to…
Your smile as u whispered…
I luv u…
Tears...now...fears...
Of facing a world without u…

Too late...to change what could have been…
Should have been...
Left alone to face a fate...
I’d never seen...

Nuthin’...eases this pain...
I’ll survive I know...
Yet again...
Just another walk down that old familiar lane...

Can I write?

Can I write?
I long wondered…
I tried…
But hated what I wrote!
Kept telling myself…
Don’t think and write…
Just let the words flow…
From your heart…
And…
One day out of the blue…
The words just seem…
To gush out…
Like I’d woken up from…
Deep sleep…
It may not be perfect…
What I write…
But it’s true…
It’s my life…
My thoughts…
My Joy…
My strife…

About writing….

The first time I attempted to write a journal was when I was a child. I honestly don’t remember how old I was! It was this little diary and by little I mean really, really small! I think I was given that just to keep myself amused. I remember writing little notes about things that happened to me. Hmmm I liked what I wrote and even thought I did a good job of writing (if you could understand my not so good handwriting!!!)But you think I continued with it? Nah …

The second time I remember more distinctly. I subscribed to this children’s magazine called “Target” (…and I still have two years collection of the same magazine!)…Well, every year they came out with a diary and for two years I wrote an account of my day-to-day experiences. It was fun and quite a trend back then…amongst my friends. Similarly, there were “slam books”…what a rage they were in school!!! They were a measure of your popularity. The more entries the better! Similar to getting comments in your blog!

What I loved most was writing about the places I got to visit with my parents. I didn’t know the term “travelogues” at the time but now I realize that’s what they were. I never wrote poetry or even simple rhymes except for some funny lines about my friends. A lot of what I wrote was humorous and meant for others. Mostly written in birthday cards and for special occasions.

When I showed my recent attempts at writing to special friends and family…hmmm…with a lot of hesitation and doubts of course, they were very encouraging and that motivated me to start this blog. Well…I’m not saying all comments were positive…but criticism is good when it’s from people who mean well and when it helps me improve.

I was told to write some prose…even get back to maintaining a journal. I feel it’s all about being in the mood…the right frame of mind to write but yes, time-to-time when I have an experience to share I will share it…what better place to do it than here!