2006-02-02

Lessons of Life

okkk...I would have put in this post a day or two later...but once I get done with writing about something, I hate hanging on to it. Mostly coz when I re read it...and I tend to do that often, I feel like what ?!!! ummm...I mean I keep getting second thoughts about what I write...I guess this has somthing to do with the comments I've been getting off late...nah nah I luvv it when people respond to what I write but I get the feeling that I could end up writing for others and not for myself! You get what I mean? The whole purpose of starting this blog was to see if I could write at all!!...and of course the poems...now that's where I really look forward to getting comments. I don't think I am an exceptional writer and nor do I consider my poems anything spectacular but if people like it (genuinely) and identify with the sentiments behind it...it sure does make me feel good:-)! okkk...enough of all this....here's what I'd written last night...

Lessons of Life

"Back in school…now before I lapse into another story from the past I must mention that I studied in many schools because of the frequent transfer’s dad got…hmmm…now coming back to the story…back in school (DPS), there was a system of awarding a “scholar” status to students who excelled academically. I don’t remember clearly but I think at that point of time it was something like score above 75% in all your subjects (now days I guess that’s a pretty average score judging from Delhi Univ’s cut off list every year)…anyway any dipsite who gets here can correct me if I am wrong. Well I wasn’t ever a brilliant student but I managed to get the scholar badge in the four years that I was there (not the very first year though).

Anyway most of my friends got it too. So we were really looking forward to getting 3 in a row because that entitled you to a “Blue” Coat (normal school blazer was green). It was a matter of honor and therefore one was always consumed with the thought “what if I don’t get it?!”…always worrying about being left out. That was the worst thought ever!

6 years in a row got one a Gold medal…whew! But I knew I wasn’t going to be in the same school for 6 years…4 years is the max. I’ve been in any school! So, 6th grade was a very important year for me. That was the year I had to get my third badge and it was also my last year at DPS. But it was also my first year in Middle school (DPS had Junior, Middle and Senior schools) and believe me, Middle school (at all of 12 years) is an important growing up stage. Studies of course got tougher because of a lot of distraction namely guys! Lol…same guys we wouldn’t give a second look to a year back! And hmmmm…also seniors! Well, 6th grade was, for me personally, a HUGE year and I think it defined the kind of teenage life I went on to lead in the next 6 years.

And in the midst of all this was the thought that I have to get my scholar badge. The funny thing is I don’t remember slogging hard or putting in any extra effort…the studies bit is kind of blurred! But everything else I remember clearly :- )!

My friends were all thinking the same and we would keep telling each other, “You’re sure to get it…dunno mera kya hoga!”…anyway why am I writing about all this? Welll, what happened eventually is that on the day results came out, I remember walking to class with mom and then I saw my then best friend walk out of her section…her eyes met mine and her lips said, “Nope…didn’t make it!”…I just didn’t know what to say. Then I came across the third girl in our trio and she looked forlorn too…my heart sank. I was sure I wasn’t going to get it either. But when I saw my report card…there it was “scholar”…I was thrilled!!!

And then it hit me…OMG…I got the “blue” coat BUT I’m never going to wear it! That was my last year at DPS!! All I wanted was to get it and wear it and now that I have it, I would never get a chance to wear it! Yes I cried…oh did I cry…the memory of that day still makes me cry. That was not the only irony…fact is had I stayed back in school I would probably dread wearing it because my closest friends didn’t make it…I would feel awkward and left out though I knew they were happy for me and wouldn’t make me feel odd.

And yes the reason why I wrote about this incident is simple and clear…that day I learned that “success” is not always about winning but about savoring it because you can get everything you want sometimes but you need not get a chance to enjoy it. And to me personally, it matters how others view my success…people’s opinion about me counted for a lot more than I thought it did."

Ps: I'm still happy about my last post...short, crisp and on my fav subject! :-)

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