Same Old Story...

Below is a story I have told time and again to many friends. I figured it was high time I wrote it out so that I don’t have to keep repeating myself :-) … what it’s about is something you need to read and figure out!

20th September, 1995 - I got an invitation to an ex's birthday party. I wasn't too keen on going because we'd only just split and I was told I was one of two girls invited. The other was a common friend who was also his next door neighbor. The rest of the invitees were all guys (mostly from our apartment complex). Anyway, we (the other girl and I) went hoping to come away after wishing him and having some of the birthday cake etc.

At the party, I was introduced to the guys (most of whom I knew already!). One guy was specially introduced as the birthday guy's new found best friend (at the time...) and for some reason, we seem to be very antagonistic towards each other. I'd seen him earlier playing cricket in the lawns my balcony faced and he would wear a "St.Stephens" college sweatshirt and of course that caught my eye for obvious reasons (it is after all the most sought after college in Delhi). So I asked him rather cynically if he had borrowed it from a friend! To which I got a haughty reply that he belonged to the said college and was pursuing his Masters degree! For the rest of the evening we didn't talk much but I was told later that he described me as a snob and told his friend (my ex!) that (to put it mildly) "she's not worth crying over!"...okkk!! I remember telling one of my friend’s that “this guy has too much attitude”…hmmm!!

Well, over the next couple of weeks we found ourselves part of the same friend's circle and progressed to being civil to each other. One day, ex's mom was looking frantically for her son and since I happened to be nearby (having just returned from our local Durga Puja celebrations in a sari and all decked up!), she told me to go get 'ex' from Mr. Haughty's place. I tried to avoid it but she was locked out of the house and needed the house keys from her son to get into her flat...hmmm! So I went looking for him and landed at H's (haughty!) place who btw kept staring at me like I was some kind of alien before I had to remind him that he ought to open the door so I could get in and take the keys!!! At which point, he suddenly realized he was being very impolite and invited me in for some coffee which I accepted (coffee/tea always welcome!). So while 'ex' went off to help his mom, H and I got better acquainted and had our first real conversation over steaming cups of coffee (and he did make really good coffee!)...

Since that day, we spent a lot more time getting to know each other...long walks around our apartment complex, hanging out with friends...hours in conversation. Friends around us were at first very surprised to see us get along so well. Gradually, H became my best buddy and I would be confiding in him all the time. Ditto for him...I was his best buddy. People around us speculated and predicted "romance" but fact remained there was nothing to all that...

Then one fine day...actually it was evening, H and I were making coffee together while friend's sat in the living room chatting. H was upset about something and I could sense that. I tried asking him but he didn't seem willing to talk so I let it be. Then all of a sudden, he turned around...walked up to me....I was sitting on the kitchen table…he came really close...I was startled...too taken aback to react...and he put his head on my shoulder...I simply froze!

And then I over reacted big time...pushed him back! He looked totally taken aback now! And I almost yelled "what the hell are you doing?" He said "nothing...I...ummm...errr" And I just went on and on..."you're taking advantage of my friendship! You think you can take this somewhere but blah blah blah"...I was livid. He just stared at me like I was ... well, he just stared!

In the meantime, our friends walked in and seeing the scene decided to leave us alone to sort it out...hmmm! Anyway I was quite upset and declared I was going home. H had recovered by then and he followed me to the door and just as I was walking away, I heard his voice saying softly and steadily, "Ishita...don't go. I think I love you..."

It stopped me right there and then. Got the upstairs’ neighbor also stuck to the balcony enjoying the scene! I was angry. And I never expected this ever!! I simply did not want this! So I replied angrily, "If u think then you don't...you don't think in love damn it...You just love"...

After that everything is quite a funny scene actually coz mom called me and said I should buy some veggies for dinner. As I walked away, H followed dutifully while I kept saying I was ok...I didn't need his help. He kept asking why I wouldn't reciprocate his feelings and I kept saying that one can't just wake up one day and say o.k. I love you! And we kept arguing in mild and non aggressive tones...suddenly, H got really worked up and there in the middle of the veggie bazaar...amongst all the old auntyji's and bhaiyaji's, he said aloud, "But why won't you love me???"...

All around us...silence! I was speechless! Realizing he'd put me in a very awkward situation, he added quickly "and that was the line in the play!!!".....lolzz....

Later that night I wrote out a very heartfelt letter rejecting the idea of any romance between us and spelling out all the reasons why we shouldn’t jeopardize our existing friendship. The next day he read the letter, looked straight at me and tore it up. He said he would give me more time to think and was sure he wouldn’t have to take No for an answer.

Well, to cut a long story short. This thing between us continued over the next couple of months...somewhere along the way, I found myself falling in love with him. And he was one of the most devoted friends, committed boyfriend ever...we dated for almost 5 years. My longest relationship...this isn’t the first time I've mentioned him in my blog.

H to all of you is better known as R...we've been married for 7 years now :-)! The whole story of us getting together proves three essential points. The first being that first impressions can be so deceptive! Secondly, to never forget that persistence pays! And the third one is what most of us experience at some point of time…that classic fear of losing a friend in the process. Both of us didn't want to lose our friendship. But once he did disclose his feelings to me, he wouldn't back off till I was completely sure of my feelings...till he was completely sure that I was!!

A thing he often jokingly says is "maine bahot paapad bele hai to get her...!" lolz...I can't translate this coz the humor would be lost. And our dear old common friend at whose party we first met, was left the most perplexed and confused amongst all our friends :)...

Suchi has been witness to our relationship from the beginning to date, guess she would also agree that R and I still make the most amazing friends...though...lolz...we kind of struggle in the hubby-wife equation...lots of crazy fights and teething problems initially and ummm, still some ego hassles now and then :)!! Guess that makes it all the more interesting right :)?!! Nah, I'm not asking...just stating a fact! :)

That’s it for now…Enjoy your weekend people…have a blast!

Ps: I also wrote the above post coz maybe some day when Vedant is all grown up, he might like to read how mamma met papa :-)! And yes R has his own version of the whole “How we met” story…it forms the crux of our longest argument ever!!! And as he read the post before I published it, he was toying with the idea of writing out his own version of the events that led to us getting together. I however maintain that I have been true to facts and honest like my usual self :-) …

The music playing is “Truly Madly Deeply” by Savage Garden…! :-)…lines from the song

"want to stand with you on a mountain,
I want to bathe with you in the sea.
I want to lay like this forever,
Until the sky falls down on me

Oh can't you see it baby?
You don't have to close your eyes
'Cos it's standing right before you
All that you need will surely come...”