I, Me, Myself

I want to write and just be myself....I want to express every single feeling...write from my heart and soul...write for myself...but....

Tell me have you ever taken a really hard look at yourself and tried to evaluate the kind of person you think you are....the kind of person people view u as and what you really are?

I did...

I’d like to think I am everything that people make me out to be...a happy wife and doting mother...sensible, practical...optimistic...always churning out the right things to say! But I am not...I have a lot of growing up to do myself. And suddenly, everything seems so shallow...I find myself a person with conflicting emotions. A person who sometimes doesn’t live up to her words...who sometimes takes people around her for granted.

Selfish? Yes...selfish.

Hypocrite? Yes... Sometimes...I am such a hypocrite! I don’t need someone close to tell me that....I think I can see myself clearly...thank you. I change my mind...not coz of any whim and fancy. I do so coz I think...yes I think! Can I live in isolation and not take into account how my decision(s) and action(s) affect the people around me? So if today I may believe in one thing....as right. Then tomorrow I could change my mind!! And I do!!!!

Too many things playing on my mind...too many things upsetting me!

My last post created sum confusion in many of you. I don’t want to blog...PERIOD. But I am not stupid and know that I can’t predict the future and chances are that some day in the future I may want to just write...for myself! Hope that clears the confusion...

On a more positive note, It’s been overwhelming to see your comments...u guys make my day :-)

Looking forward to the 2 week holiday...to just get my mind off all this negativity.

I just changed the song in my side bar today morning...but here’s one more classic rock song... “Lying eyes....” by Eagles! Enjoy....

City girls just seem to find out early
How to open doors with just a smile
A rich old man
And she won't have to worry
She'll dress up all in lace and go in style

Late at night a big old house gets lonely
I guess ev'ry form of refuge has its price
And it breaks her heart to think her love is
Only given to a man with hands as cold as ice

So she tells him she must go out for the evening
To comfort an old friend who's feelin' down
But he knows where she's goin' as she's leavin'
She is headed for the cheatin' side of town

You can't hide your lyin' eyes
And your smile is a thin disguise
I thought by now you'd realize
There ain't no way to hide your lyin eyes

On the other side of town a boy is waiting
with fiery eyes and dreams no one could steal
She drives on through the night anticipating
'Cause he makes her feel the way she used to feel

She rushes to his arms,
They fall together
She whispers that it's only for awhile
She swears that soon she'll be comin' back forever
She pulls away and leaves him with a smile

You can't hide your lyin' eyes
And your smile is a thin disguise
I thought by now you'd realize
There ain't no way to hide you lyin' eyes

She gets up and pours herself a strong one
And stares out at the stars up in the sky
Another night, it's gonna be a long one
She draws the shade and hangs her head to cry

She wonders how it ever got this crazy
She thinks about a boy she knew in school
Did she get tired or did she just get lazy?
She's so far gone she feels just like a fool

My, oh my, you sure know how to arrange things
You set it up so well, so carefully
Ain't it funny how your new life didn't change things
You're still the same old girl you used to be

You can't hide your lyin eyes
And your smile is a thin disguise
I thought by now you'd realize
There ain't no way to hide your lyin' eyes
There ain't no way to hide your lyin' eyes
Honey, you can't hide your lyin' eyes