Don't let it go...

Pain…Anger…Frustration….Tears watching the horror unfold in Mumbai. I told myself I would not write about it. Words cannot do justice to the deep emotions in me. Even now as I try to make sense of it all, words fail me. I cannot even begin to imagine what the survivors of this whole horrific experience went through and how they can get past this trauma when I sitting at home…watching it on TV…am still not anywhere close to feeling normal!

This isn’t the first time we’ve seen terror and this is definitely not the last we’ll see of it either. In the past we “got over it” and “moved on” … we will this time too but not because we want to put up a brave face to the terrorist and say you can’t affect me?! You can and you did…so much! Bombs were faceless. This time it’s different. We saw the face of terror. The face of terror was remorseless. The face of terror was intent. The face of terror was motivated….more motivated than we have ever been after having been subjected to terror again and again.

We’ll move on because living is a compulsion. But the pain is going nowhere. It lingers and it must. We cannot become immune to it. We cannot let this be just another attack and then go back to the false sense of security that daily existence brings about….only to face terror again. It’s different this time because many among us have realized that the people who we’ve elected to run our governments….the people who can definitely if they showed the will…make us secure….have time and again used our show of so called “spirit” to get complacent and continue playing their power games! It isn’t our damn spirit…we don’t have a choice, do we?

Completely frustrated watching the media going on and an about X minister resigning…Y being kicked out…Z not budging….ABC not coming to a consensus about security measures. What the….

So yes X resigned….he had to and so many others better! A one line announcement would suffice … thank you! Rather than getting reactions from different political leaders who simply had nothing concrete to say besides ripping each other apart?!

Tell us about them when they see and understand the state of mind of the common man! When they actually translate their so called “anguish” to concrete action! Till such time spare us the political circus and the blatant power games that they still indulge in without a thought for the people who are no more.

I don’t know what is worse? The fear of the dreaded terrorist or being at the receiving end of the politician’s apathy?

We’re totally dispensable to both anyway!!

I don’t want to pretend I won’t let this affect me and “move on”. I am scared and I know you are too. But I don’t want to let this fear numb every other emotion.

Some are cynical about the coming together of people in times of crisis. Saying it cools off sooner than it takes to get together! But I believe every little action and gesture counts. The important thing is make your self heard. Today this is happening. Some may not show they care but they cannot deny they are affected. No one is unaffected. It may not be you or your near and dear one dead in this or in any of the past terror attacks…but you know just as well that there’s no surety this will be the case next time?

The one thing that kept me sane while watching all this madness were my children. Yes they were unaffected because they did not understand the enormity of the whole horror. I cannot keep them safe forever from pain, hatred. But I can try and make them see sense…to never let them forget the difference between good and evil. To teach them to appreciate different faiths and beliefs. Let’s not forget that the people who perpetrate terror are taught otherwise. They are inculcated with hatred. The least we can do is bring up our children with a sense of tolerance and understanding of different faiths…

I know my belief in the Almighty is just as strong if not stronger than even the most extreme voices in my faith. But I am not threatened and insecure by the belief of others in their faith. Are you? Why should we be? It’s when we fail to understand the differences between us that we fall prey to prejudice. Why can’t we be more tolerant?

The terrorist’s bullet killed without discrimination! Whether it was these mad terrorists in Mumbai, the hindu extremists in Kandhamal….they have one faith…killing humanity! In that sense, they are more unified than us living with fear and suspicion…

There’s so much more I feel…so much more to express….so many emotions that I am trying to deal with. As is I am sure anyone who gets to read this…

What I know for sure is…despite all this fear and insecurity…I will not fall victim to hatred…

Even as I write this….I hear a news reporter speaking of Baby Moshe, his parents victims of the terrorist’s brutality at Nariman House, leaving the country with his grandparents. I can only pray for him and for all those who lost loved ones in this terrible tragedy…

The song playing echoes the prayer in my heart….

“Give us strength Lord to never lose faith…to walk the right path…to learn from our mistakes and never repeat them…

There’s pain and destruction everywhere….people are scared all around…sins are growing…the world seems to have come to an end…shoulder our sins with love Lord…save your creation from destruction… teach us to walk the right path…to learn from our mistakes and never repeat them…

Give us strength Lord to never lose faith…to walk the right path…to learn from our mistakes and never repeat them…

We are in the dark…show us the light….so we don’t lose our way in hatred and enmity….punish us for our sins…to face death with courage too…let the past not repeat itself…let the future not be the same…teach us to walk the right path…to learn from our mistakes and never repeat them…”