31st Dec 2005 – After a rather enjoyable meal at Pizza Hut with R and Deepak (a close friend of ours), I left to pick up our son from the playpen on the top floor of the mall. Meanwhile, R & Deepak went out for a smoke. Going up the escalators, I noticed a lot of rush mainly coz of sum new years eve celebrations in the food court near the playpen.
Young guys aged 20-24 odd years were moving down the escalator and here is what I wanted to write about – how completely unnerving a simple ride up the escalator can get when guys look at you and pass comments…simply because you are a woman! Fact is most women are used to looks and comments & there are instances where one feels good too (presuming the look is from someone we find interesting!!) but more often it’s humiliating and sometimes down right sickening.
Now lets move on with what happened next on the 31st….I did nothing more than glare back at some of these guys – indignantly! Not that it made a difference to them. I reached the playpen on time and got my son out. He was in his elements…thrilled being at the place he loves most (besides mama’s godi). And here’s the interesting thing, as I took him into the complex to catch the movie we had planned on seeing, these guys stared at me as though I had transformed into another being – one distinct remark I heard was “arrey yaar, iska toh beta hai!!” (She has a son!!!) And to make matter more amusing was my lil’ kid kept smiling and wishing them “Happy New Year Chachu!!”… (Every young guy’s a Chachu to him…never a mama!!).
This whole thing left me with a lot of mixed emotions ranging from initial disgust to a feeling of wanting to burst out laughing!!!
Should I feel flattered that they didn’t think that I looked like a mommy in the conventional sense? Should I feel sorry that guys need to resort to cheap comments to get noticed? Should I hate them for the looks they gave and the comments they made? Should I just accept and live with the fact that I am a woman in a society where men grow up with this kind of attitude and bias towards women.
The again…I look at my son and in my heart I make this solemn vow…I will raise him to respect women…I will instill that basic value in him…because I can make that difference here and so can many of you who have children around you. We can change the way society views woman in the future.
Ps: Ever wonder what kind of children such guys would raise in the future??!!
Young guys aged 20-24 odd years were moving down the escalator and here is what I wanted to write about – how completely unnerving a simple ride up the escalator can get when guys look at you and pass comments…simply because you are a woman! Fact is most women are used to looks and comments & there are instances where one feels good too (presuming the look is from someone we find interesting!!) but more often it’s humiliating and sometimes down right sickening.
Now lets move on with what happened next on the 31st….I did nothing more than glare back at some of these guys – indignantly! Not that it made a difference to them. I reached the playpen on time and got my son out. He was in his elements…thrilled being at the place he loves most (besides mama’s godi). And here’s the interesting thing, as I took him into the complex to catch the movie we had planned on seeing, these guys stared at me as though I had transformed into another being – one distinct remark I heard was “arrey yaar, iska toh beta hai!!” (She has a son!!!) And to make matter more amusing was my lil’ kid kept smiling and wishing them “Happy New Year Chachu!!”… (Every young guy’s a Chachu to him…never a mama!!).
This whole thing left me with a lot of mixed emotions ranging from initial disgust to a feeling of wanting to burst out laughing!!!
Should I feel flattered that they didn’t think that I looked like a mommy in the conventional sense? Should I feel sorry that guys need to resort to cheap comments to get noticed? Should I hate them for the looks they gave and the comments they made? Should I just accept and live with the fact that I am a woman in a society where men grow up with this kind of attitude and bias towards women.
The again…I look at my son and in my heart I make this solemn vow…I will raise him to respect women…I will instill that basic value in him…because I can make that difference here and so can many of you who have children around you. We can change the way society views woman in the future.
Ps: Ever wonder what kind of children such guys would raise in the future??!!
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